Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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