I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
