Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
