a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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