we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
