i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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