he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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