You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
