If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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