The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
