Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
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I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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