im drinking this country out of the recession.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
