was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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