We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she was so not down for the gang bang
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
