we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
