I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize