it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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