I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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