Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
