shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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