Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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