Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
