Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize