I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
