she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I DEMAND FORESKIN
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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