Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
