Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
