D3 body, D1 cock
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
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