Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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