I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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