dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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