coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
