i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
