I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
