I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
