called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
