would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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