As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
