i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
