she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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