i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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