Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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