i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
