i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
