the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
