How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
