we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I need water and some morals
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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