I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
