Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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