The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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