I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
