Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
