I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
