You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
