I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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