This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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