You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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