I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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