I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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