I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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