At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
